Thursday, March 25, 2010

Model Model Model, Model Model Model

(Sing "Model Model Model" to the tune of the original America's Next Top Model theme song and you get where I'm going here.)

Okay, so last night on ANTM the third of my initial three favorites got the boot.  Now, I understand if Tyra is angry with me for not watching the short girl cycle, but look, Five-head, I CAME BACK.  Let's not keep punishing me for one mistake.  In order to keep my Model-love alive, here's a look back at some of my all-time favorite ANTM girls and moments...

Cycle Three, like, all of it
Cycle Three, featuring such luminaries as winner Eva Pigford, legally blind Amanda, and plus-sized Toccara, is the cycle that sucked me into ANTM in the first place.  I was living in Los Angeles, at home and bored on a Sunday afternoon, and I got sucked into a marathon on VH1.  I have never regretted the loss of a Sunday to a reality TV marathon less.

Seriously.  The girls got into a fight because someone carved "Clean Your Shit" into another girl's pan of low-carb brownies.  They also got into a fight because legally blind Amanda misplaced her "crystals" and blamed Eva for it...and it turned out Amanda had hidden them to keep anyone from stealing them.  The girls posed on rollerskates and with a live tarantula and Taye Diggs was the guest during the acting challenge and HOLY CRAP, THIS CYCLE WAS AMAZING.  Also, the girls and the photo shoots were all kind of pretty!  

Elyse Sewell
Elyse was the third runner up on the first cycle of ANTM.  She wrote an article in Jane magazine (man, that was a long time ago) about her experience on the show that I remember reading before I even knew what ANTM was, and it was kind of awesome.  I loved Elyse on cycle 1, and apparently Tyra does too, since ANTM history has now been re-written showing Elyse as the winner.  Adrienne Curry, the actual winner of the first cycle, had a falling-out with Tyra, and now whenever the first cycle is mentioned, it's with Elyse's picture, not with Adrienne's. 

ANYWAY: I love Elyse more for what she did after the show.  She is probably the most successful as a working model out of all the girls, which is amusing considering that in her last interview after getting the boot on the show, she insists she's heading back to medical school.  You can follow her travels on her blog.  

Tyra Loses Her Damn Mind
No joke: I loved this cycle 4 episode so much that a co-worker of mine in Los Angeles gave me his Emmy screener DVD of it and I still have it.  And watch it.

So yeah.  Tyra eliminates Tiffany (who first made a splash when, during tryouts for the previous cycle, got into a barfight with a random girl and memorably yelled "BITCH POURED BEER IN MY WEAVE!"), Tiffany makes light of it, TYRA FREAKS OUT.  I think this is when Tyra turned the corner from somewhat-loveable ex-supermodel to egocentric crazy freakinator.  

Mr. and Miss Jay
For real.  I love these gays.  Mr. Jay and his silver hair (left) seems the most in-touch with reality of all the ANTM "experts" (I know it doesn't take much).  I wish he was on panel more often.

One guy I am glad is no longer on panel is Miss Jay Alexander (right).  His craziness is best experienced in small runway-teach doses.  I find them both wildly entertaining, and they actually turn out some useful advice (as opposed to noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker and Ty-Ty).

Things I Hate/Fast Forward Through
Tyra.  Seriously.  She has become intolerable in the past few cycles.  I'm so glad I have a DVR so I can fast forward through almost all of her speeches during judging panel.  I don't know what is in her Cocoa Puffs but girl needs to dial back on the crazy.  Tyra, it used to be so good.  Then you got a talk show and fancied yourself the next Oprah Winfrey and now we're in this situation now.  Just please don't send home Raina on next week's episode since she's the only one left that I like.  Kisses!

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